Thanks for Looking Out for Me – part 2

As every Christian parent knows, the greatest goal of parenting is to raise your children so that they grow to love the Lord and develop their own relationship with Him.  As much as I want to bring them into the kingdom of God on my coatstrings, I know that I can’t.  All I can do is teach them about the Lord, guide them in His will, and pray constantly.  But trusting that the Lord has them in His hand is probably the hardest thing that I have ever done.

So when those times come when my children show the fruit of the Spirit, it confirms that the Holy Spirit is working in their hearts.  When Super Stuffy turned three he decided that he wanted to ask the Lord to save him.  We weave the Lord and our need for salvation into our daily lives, so I knew that he understood on an elementary level what he was asking.  However, I did ask him again if he knew what he needed to do to be saved.  We prayed together, and I believe that at that moment Jesus saved him.

In the years since, we have all had our ups and downs.  Sometimes I find myself fearful that Stuffy really didn’t know what he was doing and that he really wasn’t saved.  He certainly showed no evidence of spiritual fruit.   But after awhile I realized that an apple tree doesn’t sprout apples right after the seed is planted. It takes some time.  So I turned again to the Lord and prayed that He would guide my children, and use me to teach them what He wanted them to know.  I prayed that the Holy Spirit would speak to their hearts.

For a long time I really struggled with understanding the reality of God’s grace.  I knew that I needed to follow His commandments. But I also knew that I have absolutely no power to do so.  In fact, the more I tried, the worse I got.  For a long time, my spiritual life was a complete roller coaster.  When I felt that I was doing great, I knew that God loved me.  When I would inevitably fall, I feared that He had separated from me, and I had to do something good to get back into His good graces.  I knew that this view was wrong, but I struggled to get that truth from my head to my heart.  God loves me no matter what I do, and nothing I can do will separate me from Him.

He has many attributes, but since I struggled with understanding His grace, that is the one attribute that I wanted to make sure that my children understood in their hearts.  It’s easy to know that He is just, holy, and righteous.  It is more difficult to know His love, His mercy, and His grace.  For me, it brings a heavy weight to know that how my children see me as a mom and their father as a dad is how they will see the Lord.  If I withdraw my love from them when they do something wrong, then they will come to believe that the Lord loves them only as long as they are behaving.

I believe that my children have a greater understanding of God’s grace than I do.  I give them ample opportunity to learn forgiveness as I sin a lot.  They are full of God’s grace, and have never denied me their forgiveness.  I hate it when I sin, but one advantage of my sin is that they realize that I am not perfect.  If I need and receive the grace of God, then they will see that they can receive God’s grace as well.

This past week we had another opportunity to experience the grace of God and forgiveness for each other.  After our Bible study was over for the day, Stuffy got very angry at Bear Bear.  I was shocked at what he did in his anger.  His actions were probably the greatest insult that he has ever done in his lifetime.  I asked him to go upstairs to cool off.  Bear Bear followed about ten minutes later.  I heard them talking calmly to each other so I knew that they were working things out.

Stuffy came down a little while later.  He had calmed down and apologized.  I told him that he needed to write out an apology letter to his sister because of his insulting behavior.  He immediately agreed but he also started to beat himself up by saying how stupid he was.  He asked me again why he does stuff like that.  I explained to him again that he sins because he is a human being.  We  all sin.  He responded to me by saying that I don’t sin that much.  Hiding my sin is something that I am very talented at.  So it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t see it, it is still there.

I ministered God’s grace to my son. With my arms wrapped around him, I reminded him that God had forgiven his sin and loves him no matter what he does.  I also reminded him that I love him no matter what.  When Bear Bear came down, she wrote a note to Super Stuffy expressing her love and forgiveness for him.  He wrote an apology letter to her, and then we all embraced and cried together.  It was the truest picture of love and forgiveness I think our family has ever seen.  If I teach my children anything, to teach them God’s unending love and forgiveness will be what matters most.

With love and forgiveness received and relationships restored, we spent the rest of the day in joy.  For each one of us, knowing that we have love and acceptance from the other members of our family is priceless.  We will never have a day where there is not some disagreement or bad thought toward one another.  But at the end of the day, we know that we belong together.  We may not be a perfect family, but we are perfect for each other.  God created us together, and we will face everything that life brings to us together.