A Prayer for my Children
Right now I have another opportunity for quiet. Since I always wake up so early in the morning, my body won’t let me sleep in. This morning, Saturday, we are again in a hotel, and I get to listen to and watch my children sleep. How amazing these two lives are! I am so in love with my children. Sometimes it is overwhelming! I have spent a lot of time in prayer this morning – talking to God about my children.
Even though the hockey season is now over, our busyness hasn’t ended yet. This weekend my Super Stuffy is privileged to participate in the Middle School All State Band concert. Yesterday he practiced with the rest of the band for 5 hours and felt sufficiently tired when he was done. He has been in the band for 3 years now and I can’t help but feel some “mama bear pride”. That is “my boy!” Bear Bear was also eligible for this band, but she narrowly missed it. The competition for clarinets is much higher than for baritones.
How in the world was I blessed with such beautiful children? I know that I don’t deserve this privilege, but the Lord is so gracious. It makes me think back to those times when I was alone and desperately praying for a family. God has blessed me so much beyond what I have ever imagined.
Lord, please watch over my children…
I am looking forward to this day. We will spend our day at the Performing Arts Center listening to the band practice. I feel torn, because I am so proud of my son as he shows more signs of growing up. But it hurts just a little bit that he doesn’t need me in the same ways that he used to. I wish that I could pull him back into my arms and just hold on to him forever. But even better, I know that I can give him into the arms of the One who loves him infinitely more than I do. And I know that He is strong enough to always support him, even when I can’t. Maybe this post is my prayer.
“Lord, please hold on to my son and my daughter. Help me to always remember that You are holding on to them. Protect them, watch over them, and become their strength, even as You are mine. Help them to know you, and to keep growing in their knowledge of You.”
Later that evening…
My “mama bear” pride blossomed tremendously. Not only did Super Stuffy receive the honor of being in the higher level Honors Band, but he also received the honor of being a “3rd year” member of the All State Band. Only 22 students were given that honor this year, because in order to receive it, the student needs to make it into the band as a sixth grader. Super Stuffy was the first sixth grader to make it into the All State Band from his school, and I appreciate his band teacher so very much. She has worked hard to teach both Super Stuffy and Bear Bear their musical instruments.
One week later…
Today both Super Stuffy and Bear Bear have the honor of performing in our regional “Honors Band.” They will spend all day practicing with other students in our region, and then perform a concert tonight. I am so proud of both of my children. Long ago, when I prayed that prayer for the Lord to help me trust Him, I could not see my children. But He did. I want to be able to commit them to the Lord and allow Him to hold on to them. I possess a strong feeling that my kids wouldn’t survive without me, and that thought sometimes strikes fear in my heart. But along with my prayer for the Lord to strengthen their faith and knowledge of Him, I also pray :
“Lord. over the past years You have taught me how to trust You. I have learned a lot, but I still struggle with trusting and believing that You will watch over and protect my children. I have been so afraid that I have completely messed them up. Sometimes that fear paralyzes me. But patiently you remind me that You have given me the children that you chose for me. And it is no accident that You made me their mama. Work through my failures and successes. Make the hearts of my children grow toward You. Produce your fruit in them. I love them so much, Lord, but ultimately they are yours. Pursue them, and show them how much you truly love them.”
