Ten Daily Habits of a Successful Homeschool Mom
Who is a successful homeschool mom?
Do you know what a successful homeschool mom looks like? Sometimes I do, when I am on top of my game. Other days I have no idea what a successful homeschool mom looks like. At the end of a good day, I reflect back over the day and try to figure out what created that successful day. Here is what I believe helps me to be successful as a homeschool mom.
Spend time with the Lord
A few years ago I thought that I didn’t have enough time to spend with the Lord. Both Stuffy and Bear Bear get up extremely early and demanded my attention from the moment they woke up. But that was more of an excuse than anything. I really could have spent that time. After I prayed that God would give me a love for His Word, He answered that prayer, and I have now made it a habit to spend some quiet time with my Father.
Does it really matter?
–in my life, ABSOLUTELY!. Can I live a day without it? Yes, the same way that I can live a day without eating. But I now know that if I go too long without connecting with Him, then I lose touch with the resources that I need in order to be a good homeschool mom. Resources such as grace, mercy, patience, clarity of thought, and daily guidance. Not only that, but when I read His Word and pray, He reminds me who I am in Him and what He has done for me. I need that on a daily basis in order to be the best mom that He created me to be. It also gives me the strength to be a model of Jesus to my children and share what I am learning about the Lord with them. I can guide them to trust in the Lord more when I am trusting in Him myself.
Set a flexible daily schedule
I like to think of our daily schedule as “set in Jell-o”. We generally start our homeschooling day at 8:30 am and try to be done by 11:30. But sometimes we may not start until 9 because one or more of us is involved in a project that we want to finish before we start school. Other times we may decide to go outside in the middle of the morning when the powder is fresh, or when an animal gets sick and we have to put things on hold. Sometimes we ditch the regular schoolwork for game playing.
I don’t want to fall behind…
Many people don’t want to “get behind” in their homeschooling, and I have felt that pressure myself. But in reality, does my child need to know the multiplication facts completely by the end of the third grade? Both my children learned to walk and talk at different times, when they were ready. If it takes Bear Bear a little longer to learn her facts is that so bad? I try to let the stress go of getting behind. We learn by living life, and they will learn what they need to in order to succeed. I must keep presenting them with the facts that they need to know, but I don’t need to push too hard.
Have a Plan
Even though we can be flexible, I need a plan. I know that there are moms out there who can “fly by the seat of their pants” but I am not one of them. My plan is my boundary line. I can use my plan flexibly, but I need to stay within those boundaries. In a previous post I have described how I love my lists, and in another post I have written about the online planner that I use. But if I do not have a plan, then we don’t do anything. The kids ask me what they are required to do today, and my answer is, “I don’t know.” Then we go off and do our own thing. After our year long unschooling experiment I discovered that my children need to have a direction as well as me. It is my responsibility as their mama to guide them in the direction that they need to go.
Be Organized
I know that each mom has her own way of organization. Mine resembles an “organized chaos”. No one else could figure out my plan of organization, but I do have one. Most of the time, however, I find that when I really want to organize according to someone else’s ideas, I lose things. I have to organize in a way that works for me. For example, I need to have my online planner. I have tried paper and pencil, but they just get lost, ripped, torn, or ignored. I put my calendar on my phone because I have my phone with me at all times. My essential school books are in a specific place so that I can find them when they are needed. I have bins for things that I want to read, important office matters that need to be done, and papers that I need often.
Even though my essentials are organized, I know that there are ways I can organize more efficiently. For example, my pinterest boards are full of pins that I never look at. I have tons of wonderful school resources that I never take the time to go through so I really don’t remember exactly what I have. I aspire to organize all of those, but that will be a project for another day.
Get Dressed
This seems to be a no brainer, but for me, this one can make or break my day. My husband gets up at 5:30 every morning to get ready for school. I have learned that if I don’t get up with him, then I can easily stay in bed too long and miss my time with the Lord, which tends to throw off my daily rhythm. However, if I get up with him and choose to stay in my pajamas, then I know that I will be “jammied” until at least after lunch. Getting dressed tells my brain that I am ready for the day. I am ready for business and it motivates me to actually get the tasks done that I need to do. If I stay in my comfortable jammies, then I can more easily tell my kids to just forget school. Not only that, but my getting dressed also motivates my children to get dressed as well.
Get Feedback from your Children
One of the big advantages of homeschooling is that you are intimately aware of the strengths and weaknesses of each one of your children. I do not need to test my children because I know exactly what they understand and what they need help on. However, I see our homeschooling as a collaboration between the three of us. I do not unilaterally tell them what they are going to study. I demand that they do their math assignment, work on their spelling and handwriting, and read for 30 minutes daily, but I give them the freedom to choose the other things that they want to study. Even with the non-negotiables, I give them some choice as how they want to learn them.
For example, I don’t demand that they fill out multiple worksheets. Sometimes Bear Bear likes to do her handwriting as part of her spelling. She made the choice to do her math facts on a dry erase paper instead of on the computer. Stuffy likes the white board to do his math assignment. Sometimes we skip the math facts and play Multiplication War. I listen to the feedback from my children in order to tailor their learning to their learning styles, needs, and desires. In that way, I cut down on the whining, arguing, and stress for all three of us, (although it really doesn’t eliminate it completely when we’re having a bad day.) Take the time to listen to your children. They sometimes have a better understanding of how they can learn than you do.
Keep Track of What You Do Each Day
It feels so satisfying when I can look back on my month and see everything that we accomplished during that time. I use my online planner to check off the things on our list, but I also use it to keep detailed notes about what we do. For example, today we decided to play Multiplication War and Hungry, Hungry Hippos. I put those details in my daily notes and then print them out at the end of each month.
Then I take those notes, along with any pictures that I have taken during the month, in addition to the worksheets/projects that they have done, and put them in their individual notebooks. At the end of the school year, I can then look back and see all that we have accomplished during the year. It also creates a wonderful keepsake for the kids because when they grow up they can look back and remember what our life was like during these times.
In addition to the keepsake aspect, it will also make it easier to keep records and transcripts when Stuffy and Bear Bear get into high school. These notebooks will give me a clearer picture of my children’s achievements than just a letter grade. It will be easier to give them letter grades. The detailed notes that I keep will help me to remember what they have actually accomplished.
Remember that learning can happen at anytime!
Even though I have a plan, and we have a specific time for “school,” we always remember that learning can happen at anytime. My kids have learned so much from life and the environment around them that it boggles my mind. We learn from going grocery shopping, cooking, playing on a snow hill, building a fort, playing a game. The possibilities are endless. And I believe that the learning that takes place while we are just living our lives is some of the most important learning.
When we reach the end of this life, everything will be meaningless except these three things:
- That my children have chosen to accept the gift of salvation
- That they learn to grow in the grace and the knowledge of Jesus
- That they have followed His will for their lives.
The most important test at the end of this life is this question, “What did you do with Jesus?”
When my children stand before the Lord, I want them to be able to hear “Well done” from the King. That lesson cannot be learned from a textbook. It must be learned from His Word and guidance from the Holy Spirit. One of the things that I also need to remember is that I can teach them about the Lord, but it is the Spirit who is the ultimate teacher of my children.
Do Not Compare!
My child is so far behind yours…
How easy it is to compare your children to those around you. Or, how easy it is to compare your homeschool to all those “perfect” homeschools that you see on Pinterest. This trap captures most homeschooling moms at one time or another. I find myself comparing my children to the children of my best friend – and they go to school. Both of her children are in the same grades as mine. I can easily look at some of the things that her children accomplish in school and be overcome with anxiety because my child can’t do that yet. My child doesn’t spell as well as hers, or my child isn’t able to do math as well as hers. This is a pit that will suck you in and not let you go. Once you start comparing, then you add more stress to your homeschool because you feel as if you need to “catch up.”
My child is ahead of yours…
The opposite comparison trap, the one that builds pride because “my child is so far ahead of yours” is just as dangerous. If you get caught in this trap, your stress increases because you feel pressure to keep that level of achievement. It leaves no room for your child to struggle later on. This trap does not allow you to slow down and guide your child through any difficulty that they may have.
I have just recently realized that I have been guilty of comparing my two children. Super Stuffy demonstrates an incredible aptitude for math. He picks it up easily and finishes his assignment with very little difficulty. I find myself getting frustrated with Bear Bear because she does not perform as well as he does. I have been pushing her too hard, past her level of frustration. That realization opened my eyes to the fact that I need to slow down and change my teaching style for her. She needs a different way of learning, and there is nothing wrong with that. And just because she needs a little more time to learn the math, it does not mean that she is “behind.” Once I started to change and give her the time she needed, I saw fewer tears and more smiles.
When “School Time” is over, it’s over!
Homeschooling brings a great temptation to mix school and home. Sometimes I feel like I need to escape from home because I never really leave my job. Homeschooling can encourage that same feeling. Both my children and I need to have time to let our hair down and just “be.” We need time to play, imagine, create, veg out. We try to finish our schoolwork by 11:30. Anything that does not get completed is put away until tomorrow. (Except reading, which I don’t really consider to be schoolwork. Reading is fun and relaxing, although I have not convinced my children of that fact yet.) Don’t give in to the temptation to “just keep going” today, especially in order to “catch up.” Remember the old adage,
“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”
A Bonus Habit:
Try to say “Yes” as often as possible.
Multiple studies have shown that the average child hears the word “no” or “don’t” almost 150,00 times. Children hear just a few thousand “yes” message while growing up. Snapping out an automatic “no” becomes a habit that parents can get into. But if you take the time to evaluate a child’s question or request, then you may say “yes” more often. Most of the time, if saying “yes” to my child’s question will not cause a problem, then I will say “yes.” Sometimes my children can present points of view that I have not thought of, and keeping the options open also gives them hope.
So many times I have found that automatically saying “no” can suck the life out of a situation. Also, allowing them to make as many choices as possible while they are young allows them to make mistakes in the safety of your home. Saying “yes” as much as possible prepares them for independence as they grow. They learn how to make the right choices in a safe and supportive environment.
These are ten of the habits that I have adopted in my life in order to maximize my success as a homeschool mom. I know that there are others out there. Please comment below if you have another one or few that work for you!
