Like a Chicken…

As a homeschooling mama, do you ever feel as if you are running around constantly but not really accomplishing much of anything?  When I feel like that, I call myself a chicken running around with my head cut off.  My to do list causes this feeling quite often, and a couple of weeks ago I felt like that again.  

Time Scheduling

So many times I have tried to organize myself by setting specific times to do everything that is on my to do list.  For me, this does. not. work.  Everything always takes longer than I imagine it will, and as soon as I get off on my schedule, it seems that nothing gets done.  Or even worse, I look at my to do list and decide that it won’t work and do nothing.

Project Scheduling

Instead of giving up on organizing, I sort my tasks into projects.  I found a wonderful app that I can use to keep myself organized.  It is called Our Home.  I choose 3 or 4 big tasks that I want to get done each day and just focus on those.  I put those things in the app each evening.  The next morning, I am able to focus on just those tasks that I set for myself.

However, sometimes I feel like homeschooling gets in the way.  I imagine how much I could get done if I could just have a whole day to myself.  But then I remember that my main function is to be a homeschooling mama.  The entire reason that I have all these things to do is because I have chosen to be a homeschooling mama.  My mornings are exclusively for my children.  

This leaves me about two hours in the afternoon to get my 3 or 4 projects done before we have to go to our evening activities.  Most of the time I do not get all of my planned tasks done, but I remind myself that they will still be there tomorrow.

Wednesdays

Wednesdays, however, are special.  We have made them a lighter day with not much regular schoolwork to do.  It gives us all a break in the middle of the week, and it allows me to have more time to get my tasks done.  I hoard Wednesdays, and work hard to actually make a dent in my to do list.  The first Wednesday of this month was no exception.

But there is always something else that comes up to interrupt my plans.  It was probably our last day of summer like weather.  This year autumn seems to have come early with cooler temperatures and I have traded the summer flip flops for light jackets.  But this day was in the 80’s and sunny and I knew that I wanted my kids to spend time outside.  The winter weather will chase us back inside soon enough.  Super Stuffy asked if we could go to the park and play.

Immediately my inward response came.  “But I have so much work to do.”  I responded to Super Stuffy with my standard, “We’ll see.”  I love that response because it gives me time to think.  I struggled within myself for  a couple of hours.  I really did not want to go to the park.  My to do list was full, none of which I could bring with me.  But it was such a beautiful day, and since my kids are more important than anything else, I knew that I should go.

To Do List-or Spending Time with my Kids?

Back and forth I argued with myself.  I really should take them to the park…but I have so much work to do. But when it came right down to it, I knew that my relationship with my children is infinitely more important than my own agenda.  When the Lord calls me home, I know that I will not look back and my unfinished to do list.  I don’t want to look back and wish that I had spent more time with my children.

We took the dogs and went to the park.  The kids had a wonderful time, and so did the dogs.  Pete, our black lab, was able to play his favorite game, fetch the tennis ball.  Betsy, now being an old dog, was content to sniff the new smells and enjoy the fresh air.  The kids played on the playground, and I served the task of tossing the ball for Pete.

In the middle of the game, I came to the realization that I was having fun.  I did not regret missing the work time.  In fact, this trip to the park gave me a chance to breathe and forget the stress of my to do list.  In the end, it will not matter whether I got all of my tasks done.  What will matter is how I grew my relationships with my children.

As I began writing this post, I was enjoying my weekly peppermint latte while Bear Bear was in her ballet class.  I am busier than I have ever been, but I also have more time to myself as my children get more independent.  But that time to myself will do me no good if I don’t use it properly.

How Do I Use my “Mama Time”?

The question becomes, “How do I do that?”    I’m not quite sure yet, but I do know once again that it’s a letting go.  When I spend my time in God’s Word and prayer in the morning, I ask the Lord to take control of my day.  When my day is His, I need to trust that any interruption to my agenda comes from Him.  He will give me whatever I need to do His will for today.  When I have that time to myself, I try to use it to re-center my mind and emotions on Him.  I try to rest, believing that He has my agenda.

This doesn’t always work, but it is a practice.  I keep telling my children that things get easier when you practice them.  This is no different.  As I practice resting in the hands of the Father, it becomes just a little bit easier to do.  So even though I often run around like a chicken with my head cut off, it’s in those quiet moments that I remember that He is with me.  I am so thankful for His mercy that is new every morning.