To be a Mom part 2

Read the first post in this series here

To be a mom is the hardest yet most rewarding job in the world.  I want to recognize all of the moms out there who sacrifice so much for the sake of their children.  

 

To be a mom is LOVE

    When your child is born, you feels a strong emotional attachment to your child.  You would do anything to take care of your child and protect that child.  That emotional attachment grows into the kind of sacrificial love that moms need in order to raise their children successfully.  This sacrificial love gives up sleep in order to feed a baby in the middle of the night.  It cleans up when the child makes a mess.  It smooths out the child’s hair when he/she is sick.  This love plays a game with the children when you would much rather relax and read a book.  Mama love would go to any lengths to protect and safeguard her children.  

To be a mom is JOY

To see yourself in the eyes of your children brings that inexpressible joy.  A mama experiences that joy when her child speaks his/her first word or takes that first step.  As the child gets older, the joy increases as the mama watches her child become more independent and develops his/her personality.  Joy comes when you watch your child learn and grow, even past yourself.  When you see parts of yourself in your children, you can experience joy.

To be a mom is GRACE

Grace is essential in being a mom.  God grants His grace each day, to give His strength when you as a mom can’t keep going.  Your children grant grace when you mess up.  No matter how many times I have made mistakes with my children, they have forgiven me.  This gives me a chance to demonstrate forgiveness and love to my children.  I also show them a little bit of God’s grace when I forgive them.  God wraps us in His grace, and in turn, we learn how to grant grace to each other.

To be a mom is FRUSTRATION

Frustration is one of the hard parts of being a mom.  Frustration takes many forms.  You can feel frustration when your children misbehave for the thousandth time.  When your children don’t listen to you or obey what you ask them to do, you feel frustration.  I get frustrated when my children  argue and fight, wondering why they just can’t get along.  If I allow my frustration to build, it comes out in yelling or anger.  But I try not to let myself wallow in guilt, because feeling frustration is part of being human.   When I get too frustrated, it gives me a chance to learn and to grow as a mom as our family works together to show grace to each other.

To be a mom is MAMA GUILT

Mama guilt can be a constant companion.  It accompanies fear and worry.  Worry that you are messing up your children, or that you are not providing them with enough good experiences.  Mama guilt hits you when you mess up again, and it tells you that you are the worst mama in the world.  I experience mama guilt when I feel as if I could do more, or when I don’t play with my children as much as I think I should, or even as much as they ask.  Mama guilt can be paralyzing and difficult, but mixed with God’s grace can also bring growth.

To be a mom is TRIAL & ERROR

These precious souls that God has entrusted to us do not come with instruction manuals.  There is no magic formula that you can apply to your child to turn him/her into a perfect child.  I told Bear Bear this just yesterday.  I have tried so many methods to try and encourage her and Super Stuffy to enjoy reading, but nothing has worked.  Yesterday, however, Bear Bear and I visited the library and she excitedly looked for good books to read.  She found two of them that looked interesting to her, and already this morning she has read halfway through the first one. 

There is nothing I did that created this child who loves to read, and it may not last, but right now I will take it as it is.  But because my children are unique individuals, what technique may work for one may not work for the other one.  But as we live together each day, we are learning about each other.  We learn how to interact and how to get along with each other.   We learn how to give up our desires to meet the other person’s needs.

To be a mom is SACRIFICE

  I sacrifice my wants and my desires on a daily basis.  I cannot do what I want at all times because my children need me.  They need my time and my attention.  They need my love.  Sometimes I even need to sacrifice some of my own individual dreams in order to encourage their dreams.  We sacrifice our money, our time, our energy.  Sometimes we sacrifice having a nicer house or a nicer car.  And at times, in fact, quite often, our sacrifice goes unnoticed by our children.  That, in itself, is a sacrifice of the recognition that we so desire.

To be a mom is all of THESE

I have separated these attributes of being a mom, but they actually work in concert together.  In the course of a day, you cannot separate one of these characteristics from another.  Every day I feel intense love for my children, but also frustration at their antics, pride in their accomplishments,  grace when they forgive me and each other, and worry and fear about their future.  But in order to grow as a mom, I have discovered that being a mom is also these two things.

To be a mom is SURRENDER and TRUST

I cannot control who my children are.  I did not create their personalities, God did.  Even though He has given charge of my children over to my husband and I for these few childhood years, they ultimately belong to Him.  I have the responsibility to teach them about Him and the world around them, but they are His.  In myself I do not have the ability to parent them perfectly.  I constantly mess up.  He is the only one who is a perfect parent.  So, my job is to surrender to Him.  I am learning not to demand my own way as I raise my children, but to surrender to His will to raise them.

I also cannot control the future.  The future is hidden from our eyes.  We are unable to see what is going to happen from day to day.  I do not know what the future will bring for my children.  I have to trust that God is in control of their present and their future, and wisely use the time that He has given me with my children.

MY MOM

My mom demonstrated all of these characteristics for me, but it is only as I have gotten older that I have realized how much she has done for me.  She demonstrated sacrifice by surrendering her dream of becoming a teacher in order to become my mom.  She worked two outside jobs in addition to taking care of the house in order to help my dad to provide the things that we needed, including twelve years of Christian education for four children.  

I did not realize how much she loved me until I grew up, but I also did not see her trust in God until I was an adult.  When we all grew up and she no longer had any control over how we lived our lives, she told me how much she prayed for us over the years.  She had to let go and surrender to the Lord because she could do nothing else. 

Even now, after losing both her daughter and her husband within three months, she still demonstrates an immense and overwhelming trust in God.  She entrusts herself to His arms on a daily and even a minute by minute basis, knowing that He will take care of her.  Of all the things that she has taught me throughout the years, that is the one thing that I want to emulate the most.

I want to be like my mom.  To be able to let go and let God handle my heart, the hearts of my husband and children, and to implicitly trust that He will take care of them at all times.  Thank you, mom, for giving up so much and choosing to be my mom.  I owe you more than can ever be repaid.

Once again, take the time, if you are still able, to express appreciation to your mom for all that she has done for you.  As a mom yourself, you know what it takes to be a mom.  You know how fulfilling but also how difficult being a mom can be.  Let your mom know how much you love her.