Why Do They Grow Up So Fast?
I never imagined they would grow so fast…
I once again asked myself this question this morning. Last night, both Bear Bear and Super Stuffy participated in an overnighter sponsored by our church youth group. I talked to them a little bit about what they did during the night. Bear Bear seemed more enthusiastic about the night than Super Stuffy. It made me think that just a couple of years ago Super Stuffy would have been so excited. When they got home this morning, they both went straight to bed, leaving me alone in the quiet this morning.
This unusual quiet gives me the opportunity to reflect on our lives together for the past fourteen years. Super Stuffy was born at the end of 2007. At that time, I taught at a local school, but I took off two and a half months to spend with my newborn. I spent hours just holding him and watching him sleep. I would watch my favorite movies from day into night. At times I would dance with him, and I would remember thinking how fast the time would go.
But at the same time, I expected time to go by slowly. I very specifically remember sitting with him and thinking that I still had two months to just spend time with him. I thought at that time that it was a long time to just watch him grow.
During the first year of his life, after that school year, we spent all of our time together. When I became pregnant with Bear Bear, I thought that our alone time was now going to be limited. When Bear Bear arrived, our days changed.
During the toddler years, I struggled with their toddlerhood, just because I really had no idea what I was doing. Fear ruled a lot of my thinking. I was so afraid that I was going to mess up my kids. Playing as toddlers play never appealed to me, and I was at a loss on how to do it.
When they got to school age, in some ways I felt incredible relief. I now knew what to do with our days. My focus could be on planning schoolwork and teaching them. Just yesterday we were learning how to count and add. My kids loved to sit next to me while I read a book to them. I could do this.
In all of this, I don’t want you to think that I didn’t enjoy every single day that I had with my kids. As they grow, we strengthen our
relationship that we all enjoy to this day. We still enjoy a close relationship with each other, even though I do see it changing just a little bit.
But now, as Super Stuffy faces high school, I am forced to sit back and reflect. I now have only four years left with that little boy. Even typing those words brings tears to my eyes. Even though I am confident that our relationship will still be strong when he becomes independent, it will most definitely change. No longer is he the little boy that runs to jump into my arms. Even though he will still sit in my lap every once in a while, he no longer sits in my lap to listen to me read a book. He has grown at least two inches taller than me – I now look up to him. This summer he will take drivers ed. While I have no hesitation about that, it is just another indication that my son is growing up.
Long ago, when I lived in the midst of toddler chasing, diaper changing, not getting enough sleep, hearing “mom” every five seconds, my best friend gave me this piece of advice: “Cherish these days, even though they are hard. They grow up fast, and someday you will miss them.” I did not appreciate that advice at the time. On hard days, I couldn’t wait to get past them.
But now, I have forgotten all of the struggles. I look back on old pictures and old videos and wish that I could go back there for a little while. I guess it’s the same as it was for me giving birth. The pain isn’t forgotten, but I honestly don’t remember what it felt like. But at the same time, I wouldn’t go back, because I love seeing who my children are becoming. I love the relationships that I have with my children. Super Stuffy and I can tease each other without hurt. He calls me ‘Zilla – a reference to Ice Age 2. And I love it.
Bear Bear and I enjoy our girls times – watching those much loved “chick flicks”. Her love and grace for her mama is overflowing. She smiles and brings light to my every day. I guess that I just wish that I could keep what I have now, but go back and watch them both from the time that they were born. If I had the chance, would I change some of those hard early days?
I don’t think I would. Each of those days taught us immensely, and brought us to where we are now. Did I make mistakes? Absolutely. Will I still makes mistakes? 100% guaranteed. But I think that some of my best learning came from my mistakes.
I guess the message of this post is this: If you are a mom who is still in those early days, keep your chin up. Enjoy the toddlerhood and young childhood times. Because even though I still enjoy every day with my teenage children, I do miss those days. I just wish that it didn’t take my children growing into teenagers to appreciate that advice.
Are you a mom in those early days? I would love to hear about your experiences and struggles. Let me know in the comments below.
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